This Guide To Bees Is Both Hilarious And Informative


Recently, a Reddit user posted, “a comprehensive guide to Yellow Stripey Things.” As soon as we stopped giggling, we realized we had actually learned some really cool stuff about bees. Everyone is familiar with the sensation — sitting outside on a nice warm day and suddenly, “Bzzzzzzz.” Is it a wasp? Could it be a bumblebee? Well, take a look at the hilarious and informative post below to find out.


First, they started out with the carpenter bee.

carpenter bee hovering over a daisy
Image CC BY-NC-ND-2.0 By Alexander Lurch via Flickr

” – acts like it’s hot shit but can’t actually hurt you”

” – has no concept of what glass is”

” – lives in your fence”

” – flies agressively to try and scare you away”

Now, remember, as soon as you stop giggling, think about it. This section is excellent advice. Carpenter bees¬†are definitely big fellas, but they can’t and don’t sting you. Carpenter bees are our friends.


Next, we are going to learn about the Honeybee. These are the pollinator bees — very important to our ecosystem.

honey bee over orange flower head
Image CC0 1.0 via Visual Hunt

” – is the bee that needs help the most”

” – excellent pollinator”

” – very friendly”

” – can only sting once”

These are the bees that stung me the most when I was a kid. I ran around in my bare feet, and they loved hanging out in the clover in the grass. These guys are also definitely our friends.


Next on this hilarious list is the Bumblebee.

honeybee flying over white flower with yellow tips
Image CC0 1.0 via Visual Hunt

” – also pollinates stuff really well”

” – so fat it shouldn’t be able to fly”

” – will let you pet it without getting agitated”

” – actually a flying panda”

Like Carpenter bees, the Bumblee is mostly harmless, another dear friend, and even loves to cuddle. If that’s not cool enough, we have one more that can’t hurt you coming up.


The Hoverfly is next on the list. Like we said, this guy can’t hurt you either. When I was a kid, we called these “sweat bees.”

hoverfly on a green leaf
Image CC0 1.0 via Visual Hunt

” – wears yellow stripey uniform to scare you”

” – actually can’t do anything to you”

” – hangs out in fields”

” – follows you if it likes you”

These are the “tickly” bees I remember very fondly from when I was a kid. Now, let’s get into a few bees that bite.


Next up we are going to talk about the Paper Wasp.

paper wasp front view yellow stripey butt
Image CC BY 2.0 By tdlucas5000 via Visual Hunt

” – looks scary, but will only attack if provoked”

” – sting hurts like hell”

” – will chase you if you swat at it”

” – has no concept of personal space”

Well, there you have it. If you leave this fella alone, he won’t bother you a bit.


Now we are getting into the bees that are no one’s friend — Yellow Jackets.

yellow jacket bee on black background, long skinny with yellow and black tripes
Image CC0 By skeeze via Pixabay

” – wants your food and will fight you for it”

” – never leaves you alone”

” – will sting you just for the hell of it”

” – is just an asshole”

If you have ever met one of these dudes, you know that list nailed it. Yello Jackets are certainly assholes.


The next “Yellow Stripey Thing” looks terrifying — but is it as scary as it looks?

Cicada killer bee on white background very large very bitey
Image CC BY 2.0 By NY State IPM Program at Cornell University via Flickr

” – looks like Satan’s nightmares”

” – exclusively eats cicadas”

” – can sting you, but usually won’t”

” – still pretty terrifying”

One thing is sure, it’s a relief to know these Cicada killers don’t have the same attitude as a Yellow Jacket. We also totally agree, that fact does not make it look less terrifying, though.


Last, but not least is the Dirt Dauber.

dirt dauber wasp on green leaf
Image CC0 By Brett_Hondow via Pixabay

” – almost never stings anything except spiders”

” – builds nests in the ground”

” – hoards spiders in said nest”

” – collest looking of the wasps”

And there you have it. Dirt Daubers, like most of these fellas, don’t want to mess with you at all.


What’s more fun than learning stuff? Learning stuff and giggling at the same time. Remember folks, most of the time bees are our friends. A lot of them are dying off every year, and they deserve our help as much as cats and dogs. Plant some flowers and never smash a bee if you can help it.

Did you learn something about bees? Is there something that should be on the list and isn’t? Let us know in the comments.

Featured Image CC BY 2.0 By tdlucas5000 via Visual Hunt


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